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Give Me Your Best Shot

Some of the most fun I’ve had in my life have probably been considered “bad ideas”. For example:

When I was in elementary school me and my buddies got football helmets and pads one Christmas. We got tired of hitting each other so we decided to run full speed, with our pads on, at a tree to see if it would hurt. It did and we decided this was probably…. a bad idea.

In junior high we used to make and jump ramps on our bikes. One particular day I was riding a bike that had a stripped handlebar stem which meant that I could not tighten the handlebar down. It moved freely in my hands and I had to be very careful while riding. My buddies dared me to make a jump anyway. I did and ended up doing my best imitation of Superman. After skidding down the rock road I landed on my back. While lying on the ground I looked up and thought to myself this was probably….a bad idea.

When I was 19 I decided to ask my girlfriend to marry me. She said yes, we get hitched….yea you guessed it….a bad idea.

Last night was a very cool night ride. Some guys actually decided to come out of the woodwork and rides bikes. The cast of characters included Me, Big Worm, Wrecking Ball, Lil Ball, Lt. Dan and a special appearance by JD.

The ride started out normal enough as we head out of the orifice parking lot over to Overstreet. We do some secret singletrak and then head over to Forest Meadows. It’s starting to get dark but no one wants to be the first one to turn on their lights. So I head in first to the new twisting singletrak. I can’t see a thing but damned if I’m going to turn the light on. Wrecking Ball is trying his best to get me to flip the switch. Somehow I make it out without serious incident. So we decide to head down to the lake. As we approach the long downhill to the lake it’s pretty damn dark but still no one wants to turn their lights on first so down we go. This was a wide eyed, white knuckle decent. I’m just watching the guys in front of me. I figure if they go down I’ll have time to react. Near the bottom I catch a hint of a light behind me. Wrecking Ball couldn’t stand it any longer so he was the first one to “flip the switch”. We get to the bottom and the rest of the lake loop is a piece of cake. It was a great night. Good temps with an almost full moon. So we make our way over to Red Bug and Worm takes us in. Red Bug is challenging enough in the light so imagine what it’s light in the dark. Most of us attempted this without lights (again WB and Lil Ball cracked and lit it up). I go down once after hitting a root but no big deal. We make it out alive and head back over to Overstreet and decide to hit the singletrak back out. Again most of us without lights. This is a series of comic twists and turns. Me, Big Worm, Lt. Dan are making new trail as we could not see the one already established. Finally, we make it out to the doubletrack. We had survived the no light adventure ride…..or so we thought. Again, we’re running no lights. Big Worm (to the left) and Lil Ball (to the right) are leading with me behind BW. We’re rolling along chatting and laughing it up when all of a sudden it appears that BW has been hit with a tranquilizer gun. What really happend is that he hit some quicksand that he could not see. He makes a weird little motion and then he and his bike tilt right and make a hard crash. Poor Zak, all 130lbs of him never saw the 240lb big man coming. I look over, again with no light on, and I see Big Worm laying there. His bike is on top of Zak’s but I see no Zak. I then realized Zak was UNDER Big Worm. Oh my God we have killed Zak. Big Worm gets up and Zak appears to be OK. Unfortunately Zak’s almost new, very expensive carbon fiber frame is not OK. He spots a crack in the top tube.

So, as much fun as last night’s no light ride was I ask myself, was this probably….a bad idea. Nahhhhhhhh

Addicted to...

Definitions of addiction (n)
1.drug dependence:
2.devotion: great interest in a particular thing to which a lot of time is devoted

They say that the first step to recovery of an addiction is to first admit that you have a problem. Folks, I may have a problem. Presently I have at least three addictions in my life that are consuming most of my waking moments. They are in no particular order; cycling; IPhone; eating.

When I am not eating I am either riding or playing with the IPhone. When I am eating I may be on the IPhone downloading information about riding. When I am riding I may also be eating ‘cause you know you’ve got to stay fueled. Oh and yes, usually my IPhone is with me on a ride and I have been known to stop in order to update my Facebook page, text or email.

So here it is at the end of a work day. Let me grab a quick snack, while I download an IPhone app then get dressed for a Tuesday night ride.

Betty Ford here I come.

Felasco Revisited

What I know from this trip:

It was incredibly cold;

If you slap (Marko) a 40oz beer can from a friends (Lil Ronnie) hand while he is drinking there is a good chance he will chip a tooth;

If you are attacked by four of your drunken friends (you know who you are) there is a good chance of a bloody nose (Me);

If the plan is to make the trip to Gainesville wearing the gaudiest “holiday” sweater you can find, someone will step up and go all out (looking good Big Worm);

People staying in hotels are either very tolerant, very scared, or very stupid. Why the police didn’t come knocking on our door I will never know;

Ricky Silk and Longshanks are funny as hell when they’ve had plenty to drink;

Single speed bikes are fun. Me, Marko, and Little Ball rode ours the full fifty miles. Lil Ronnie got over 30 and will get the full 50 next year;

Spanish Mackerel likes to look for butterflies on his own;

We should not stay as long at the lunch stop;

Wrecking Ball will take his bike to the shop prior to Felasco and request that they do whatever they can to ensure it will not work properly;

Felasco is fun

Road Trip

I am really looking forward to getting out of town with the fellas this weekend. As stated below, this is the weekend of the Tour de Felasco near Gainesville. The 50 mile mountain bike ride through San Felasco State Preserve starts Saturday morning, but the fun will begin tomorrow afternoon when me and the guys meet to load up the truck and head to Gainesville.

We are slated to roll out at 1:30, but then again the Spanish Mackerel is slotted to be in my group so it may be more like 2:15. The 2 hour drive with the 5 "personalities” will be fun.

Marko is driving. He’ll start out playing his gangster rap on the radio which I’ll hate (which is why he’ll play it extra loud). He’ll also explain to us how he tore down and rebuilt his bike that same morning “I’m not sure that was a good idea” he’ll say “but it is what it is.”

Big Worm will get shotgun because, of course, he IS Big Worm. He’ll start out insulting everyone in the truck, other than Marko. He’ll push me just to the edge of where I want to kick the shit out of him then back off for 10 minutes before starting all over again.

Wrecking Ball, you know he used to be in a band, will be wound up. He’ll tell me how much he loves me and how good of a bike rider I am. He’ll word it like this: “for a fat, old guy with absolutely no bike handling skills at all you’re one hell of a mountain bike rider” “you scare me though so please ride behind me….but you really are good”.

Spanish Mackerel. You know if the Mackerel was a chick every one of his periods would be late. The Mackerel will stare out the window looking for butterflies and shiny objects. He will also insult me until such time as I feel the need to punch him in the stomach. He will then begin to tell me how awesome I am and will call me “greatness.”

The rest of the gang will meet us in G’ville. Friday night we will most likely hit the Ale House so we can drink, eat and carry on. It’ll be fun to drink with Little Ball now that he has come of age. He’ll talk me into doing shots which I will do even though I am old enough to know better. Ice Berg like most of the guys will try his best to annoy the hell out of me. I can’t punch him as he is still a little child. Well he is a giant child but I still can’t punch him.

I’m really looking forward to seeing Little Ronnie. I don’t know him that well but I always enjoy talking with him when he’s around. He’s the main reason I decided to ride the Tour on my single speed this year. Misery loves company.

So anyway I’m all wound up and am ready to get out of dodge. Look for a Tour recap next week.

San Felasco

It's that time again. San Felasco, the 50 mile (or 62 if you desire) mountain bike ride through the State preserve. I'm stoked and can't wait for Friday when me and the boys load up the truck and head to Gainesville. What I do know is that there will be drinking, eating, and coooolllllddddd weather in store. Stories and pictures to follow. Stay tuned.

The Reason for the Season

"I just don’t understand Christmas. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down." Charlie Brown, in a Charlie Brown Christmas 1965.

Let me come right out and say it, I do not get into the Christmas spirit as I once did. I’ve got a pretty good idea why. The financial issues of buying too many gifts; the stress of having to go out and buy said gifts, commercialization, hassels of dragging out family visits every single day I am off from work, etc. As I write this blog I find myself in a bitter/bad mood.

The big problem is that I have lost site of the reason why we celebrate Christmas. Linus reminded us best:

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”

Here’s wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!